Investigations in Iran

Members of the Press Corps fervently whispered and passed along directives amongst the hum of moderated caucuses. Tasks were quickly arising and objectives lacked clear aim. As delegates moved to uncover the validity of threatening international allegations received from Julian Assange, crisis broke. A team of third party investigators were detained in Iran, without any word of release.

The delegates were soon greeted by an Iranian dignitary who was “very ruffled,” by this obstruction. However, she went on to add that the investigators would only be “detained as long as they are not a threat to the state,” concerning the Press Corps. The investigators had little to no idea what they were looking for, and the group was unsure of how to get them out.

Soon after, directive Return of the Investigators-Episode VI was passed. This issued a formal apology to the Iranian government and pleaded for the safe return of all the investigators on the grounds that their exploration was only to ensure the validity of all accusations and the integrity of the Iranian government.

The Iranian dignitary returned to call this declaration a “sorry, sorry excuse of an apology,” and demonstrated her disapproval. The proclamation was “much more insulting than the original crime,” she added.

Due to this, and the expulsion of Al Jazeera from Qatar based on an independent investigation, the Press Corps voted almost unanimously to withhold the the information. It was determined that these unconfirmed state secrets would cause more harm than good, and that the decision was one to uphold our journalistic integrity and the truth of our content. Without any proof of these claims, we could not risk the morality of the publications.

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