My Draft Resolution: AZ good as it gets

Since it’s day three, Resolution (dooms)day as I’d like to call it, I’m going to attempt to write my own draft resolution. So here goes-

Author: China Daily

Signatories: China Daily

Affirming that the roll call for general assemblies is a high degree of torture;

Believing nobody. If someone flatters you on your paperwork, it’s probably a trap to usurp all your information;

Cognizant of the fact that the Press Corps is the best committee by far;

Discussing topics spanning everything but the crises at hand;

Emphasizing on journalistic integrity and the authenticity of sources in the Press Corps;

Focusing on trying to stockpile on caffeine to fight the unending battle against sleep ;

Gauging that the elevator and the Wi-Fi are the worst betrayers;

Hoping that the food lines are short enough to catch some food in between committee sessions;

Instigating the members of rival blocs against their leaders in order to gain a majority;

Judging people by merit and, well, by their fashion sense; 

Kudos(ing) all the delegates from all over the world for managing to stay alive through the quick paced crises (and the boring GA moderated caucuses);

Lamenting not being the recipient of a rose;

Mending bridges between the USA and Russia (is that too much to ask?);

Noting with zest the work of the Secretariat in ensuring the smooth running of the conference;

Observing the idiosyncrasies of delegates as their key to recognition;

Proclaiming that the delegate dance is not that bad (is it?);

Quarrelling with everyone in your field-of-view outside committee and with no one inside committee;

Reiterating that everybody in committee should get a chance to speak (especially in the GAs);

Strongly condemning the use of pre-written paperwork;

Tinkering with the chits and also delegates’ minds (the primary role of the Press Corps?);

Underlining important issues in the world today;

Viewing with appreciation the work of the crisis directors for the brilliant crises and efficient responses to crisis notes;

Wishing that the HMUN experience did not have to end;

Xeroxing working paper copies for everyone in the general assembly (and also blatantly killing several trees in the process);

Yielding collaborative resolutions from constructive debate;

Zeroing in on lobbying, debate, paperwork and most importantly spontaneity.

P.S.- Please forgive me for any inaccuracies. I have no prior experience in resolution writing, and so I might have made up some of the operative and pre-ambulatory clauses.

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