By Chief International Correspondent
PETROGRAD, Russia — Please join us as we continue to travel through history.
Moments before the news broke, handwritten notes and secret leaks started pouring into Komsomolskaya Pravda’s newsroom. Different conspiracy theories started to emerge. Everyone could feel the tension in the air.
Lenin had died.
The great Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov Lenin, leader of our Revolution, had died.
As expected, news media from all over the world (some of them traveling from the future) bombarded the Council of People’s Commissars. “The communist movement must live on,” said one of the delegates when asked by the press, “so we are taking on collective responsibility.”
But in fact, things were not as smooth as it sounded. Several sources, including the Commissars of Agriculture and Telecom, revealed that there indeed was a secret plot to “remove” Lenin, and to assume command of the republic through the power vacuum. Sources all pointed to the notorious Commissar of Foreign Affairs as the culprit, who remained awkwardly silent during the press conference and debates.
It was unclear whether the Commissar of Foreign Affairs tried to kill Lenin, diminish his power, or just take advantage of the power vacuum. What was sure to Pravda was that there is dangerous whirlpool of Commissars in the council who were attempting to suck the power and authority out of the democratic institution and to become the new “Communist Tsar.” At the center of the whirlpool was the Commissar of the Navy, who claimed to be an “ally” of the traitor. He tried to justify this by mentioning the last will of testament of Lenin, the existence of which had never been confirmed. He also implied that he might take control of the navy altogether, without having to take orders from a Lenin-like commander-in-chief.
During the tough times, some pretty weird things happened in the Council. With notes, papers and directives flying around, rigorous debates filled with personal attacks, it seemed like the battle of the Revolution all over again. One delegate even shouted to the press that the death of Lenin should be covered up (consider the irony). There were also unsubstantiated rumors that the Commissars of Railway and Social Affairs were romantically involved; this is just one more problem for the Navy Commissar.
Amid the crisis, there were still reason for hope — the Communist spirit. Case in point: this would be the last time that Pravda used the dateline “PETROGRAD”, because the commissars decided to change the name of the city to Leningrad in honor of the late leader. What a noble gesture! Also worth noting, the commissars said with a single voice that they “will not lie to the people,” which reaffirmed the core of the communist movement. Nevertheless, with Austria being annexed by Germany, and the communist parties in China, France and Canada still in the buds, the Council has many other things to worry about. Komsomolskaya Pravda would like to say thank you to the hardworking commissars: stay hopeful, stay humble, stay vigilant, and beware of traitors.