Best Corps, Press Corps

Press Corps is hands down the greatest committee without question at Harvard Model United Nations 2017. From having an absolutely astounding Director and Assistant Director, to being surrounded by intelligent and thoughtful individuals who take their job seriously and genuinely enjoy every second they spend interviewing, reporting, writing, or any other functions of journalism. Regardless of what others say, I have never encountered any group of dedicated and driven individuals quite like this. From both experienced delegates and new delegates to HMUN, professionalism and “journalistic integrity” were always the priority of each and every member of Press Corps.

To those who may be reading this next year, I hope that you find the same amount of value in this prestigious committee as I have.

To those who are currently in this committee, I say to you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for making this committee so much more than I expected, from the assistance with stories and structure, to the constant sarcasm and chatter present amongst the reporters there was seemingly never a dull moment with you all. I would also wish to commend you all on your undying commitment to reporting and giving a voice to those who may not be able to get their points heard outside of their committee were it not for you.

So, as a final send-off before both myself, my friend the “observer” and the rest of my school are to return back to the desert, I wish you all the best of fortunes in everything that you do. Whether that be skiing, running marathons, studying mathematics or humanities, continuing in journalism, pursuing a career in law, I wish all of you the best and I thank all of you for creating such an incredible and energetic environment for both myself and Cam “The Observer”.

New York Times, Haydon Bergren

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The Perks of Being a Wallflower

A wallflower by definition is defined by the dictionary as being a person who either has no one to dance with, or is the shy or awkward one at a party, all of which I believe accurately describe myself. However, I believe that this is not an entirely adverse trait.

Now, to get to the real story at hand. The Delegate Dance. Regarded by many veterans of Harvard MUN as a mysterious and often scandalous affair one afflicted with both intrigue and controversy. However, to many new delegates the experience is spoiled before they even get onto the dance floor. The dance is meant to be a time where all of the delegates are able o forget the world for a while and escape to a reality where everyone wants to party and simply have fun. The Delegate Dance is an experience few get to experience and should be admired and enjoyed, even if like me, it may not be your cup of tea.

The Delegate Dance is an event which immediately from one’s first steps they are enveloped into an environment of warmth (of which is not always welcome) and vibrancy. Such an occasion is inviting to both the meek and the spontaneous, the readers and the writers, the speakers and the listeners, and the leaders and the followers.

While the dance itself has in recent years come under scrutiny due to various breaches of security and protocol over the previous years of which include the 2015 and 2016 dances, the effort and initiative taken by both the Sheraton and Harvard security teams cannot be forgotten or marginalized due to their extreme effort to ensure that this year and every following Dance which will take place in that venue are safe and enjoyable environments for all visitors.

Myself, having attended the previous three delegate dances, am wholly relieved and inspired by the efforts and energy exhibited by the security teams, even though others may argue they may be over-reaching in their protection and methods, I feel as though they are doing a fine job in their handling of the Dance.

To shift focus back to the title of this article, it must be said that I am not a dancer, nor am I much of a party person, however I do very much enjoy the tradition and rituals that many delegations participate in. Whether it be the ever entertaining stretching circle exercise in order to lumber up before entering the dance, or even the now expected rush of costumed characters (ranging from togas in 2016 to a pirate conga line this year) onto the dance floor to inject a spontaneous bit of fun to the party as a whole one can be assured that there is never a dull moment in regards to the Delegate Dance. In addition to these hallowed and cherished traditions by some delegations, many delegates simply enter with their friends either to party or experience.

Continuing on the study of the fashion of the Delegate Dance, it cannot be overlooked that many different delegates have many different choices of style when it comes to the dance itself. From Daffy Duck sweaters, to jeans, to suits, to traditional dresses, to workout clothes and everything in between it becomes quite clear that everyone is unique and decides to put it on display when going to a massive dance with both strangers and friends alike.

As this article grows in length, I must address the topic of dancing. As someone who is not entirely familiar with all the technicalities of the dance styles put on display excluding the white boy dance and the occasional head bob and toe tap, I know I have little place in critiquing any type of dance, so I will be curt and simply say I admire all of you who go out there and dance, regardless of what others might think or say, y’all put yourselves out there and venture into the unknown. So, for that I commend all of you who are able and do dance.

Finally, to the delegates who maybe didn’t go to the Delegate Dance for fear of running into the horror stories of years past or perhaps to those of you who, like me, do not view parties as your thing or cup of tea. I urge you, if you are able to come back next year, to venture out to the Delegate Dance and if nothing else at least spend a few minutes just enjoying the moments. For the Delegate Dance is a revered experience and while it may not be the most educational or reserved, it is an experience any and all delegates deserve to experience.
– New York Times, Haydon Bergren

Kissinger’s Crusade

After the election of President Nixon to his second Presidential term, many questions have been asked whether or not the cabinet will remain divided or unite for the betterment and the welfare of the American people. After a recent statement by Henry Kissinger however, this debate has only become more heated.

While addressing his fellow cabinet members, he made a pitch to address the growing concerns of liberal pundits and citizens, regarding both the continuation of the deliverance of civil rights expansion as well as the growing crusade by many organizations to achieve greater equality across the board. In addition we were informed that the cabinet was discussing perhaps stepping back on recent promises to expand military operations and shift to a more volunteer-based system in regards to the physical makeup of the military, a reversal of the current draft system dealing with the conflict in Vietnam. This news is very agreeable to all Americans as it would ensure that American lives will not be wasted fighting for some political cause that much of the nation views as misplaced and mishandled.

While the majority of the cabinet, including the White House Communications Director Mr. Herbert Klein, supported recent shifts in the policy of the Nixon administration to address growing concerns by all Americans both domestically and abroad, there were also voices of dissension such as Mr. Henry Kissinger who stated that the cabinet and Administration “cannot liberalize ourselves to appeal to their voter base”. This being in reference to the recent changes to the Administration’s shift in policy. Any further information regarding this issue will be released with most haste.

Nixon’s Night

On this very night, the Nixon Administration celebrated perhaps its best evening. With the 1972 having been incredibly heated and intense from all sides on the issues of race, poverty, conflict and American values. After a seemingly divided campaign it appears as though the Nixon Administration will be in power for four more years.

After an incredibly tense election cycle in which the Nixon cabinet seemed very much so divided on strategy, a series of campaign videos were released along the way which seemingly united all Americans behind a set of values the cabinet viewed fit for the American public to demonstrate. Within the halls of the White House, Nixon’s cabinet scrambled in order to produce quality campaign advertisements with incredible pace. With time seemingly speeding up around these turbulent times, the cabinet was able to keep a cool head and produce campaign videos which many voters seemed quite pleased with. One reporter was even told by a voter that those advertisements were the deciding factor in his ballot decision.

With the ads themselves focusing on topics such as the how to rebuild a fractured nation and how to make America a nation built upon values again. The cabinet also orchestrated part of their efforts to reaching out to the true struggling voter bloc in this election, the liberal voters of whom have fought both on the streets and in the halls of the Supreme Court to have their plight heard, of which include both the African American voters and the Female voters of whom have seemingly been forgotten throughout these past tumultuous months. The cabinet went to great lengths to highlight Nixon’s creation of the EPA and other organizations which placed the will of the American people above petty politics. However, what the cabinet failed to mention, and something we will gladly mention is that thanks to the work and dedication of true liberals in Congress to keep our environment safe and secure for generations to come. We would like to commend Nixon though, on such an esteemed executive order.

 

With Nixon taking the stage to address his supporters on the evening of his win. The gentleman seemed quite resolute and composed. However, as soon as Mr. Nixon took to the stage, a whole new persona emerged as he began to thank the American people for their continued support. We must add though, this Nixon coming up to address the people of America was not quite as reserved and careful as he typically has been, with his calls for the crowd to stand up again and keep cheering after he had already dismissed them to their seats. However, all was left out on stage tonight as Nixon himself stated that he was so proud to be “elected for four more years to God’s greatest gift to this planet”. To this exclamation by President Nixon, the crowd became absolutely enamored with the man whom they had put into power.

However, all was not wholly innocent or celebratory as the President decided to call out illegitimate actions by the leadership of the Democratic Party in places such as Chicago where “those illegal votes” as Nixon put it, seemingly were tools by the establishment to ensure that their policy, not those drafted and admired by the public, were put into place. The President was quick to silence any dissension in his speech and spoke about unity saying that now

“We can continue making America great again!”

The President ended his celebration with a familiar sign towards the American public, the Peace sign. As he left the stage, he shook the hands and accepted congratulations from both his staffers and the members of his cabinet who are no doubt excited to be back to business as usual now that the electoral tides have seemingly settled down.

A Bridge Too Far?

BREAKING – In continuance of our piece, “Tragedy By The Bay”, we promised you, the readers, that we would continue to pursue every possible avenue to uncover the suspicious nature of the Chappaquiddick Incident. Through further investigation, and with the cooperation of an anonymous high-ranking official within the Nixon Administration, we have uncovered condemning evidence of Senator Ted Kennedy and his actions in regard to the Incident.

Directly from the start, it can be confirmed that Senator Ted Kennedy, along with Joseph Gargan, Paul Markham (Former US Attorney), Charles Tretter, Raymond La Rosa, as well as John Crimins (who was Kennedy’s part time driver) were all involved. These married individuals were in the company of six single women of whom were “Boiler Girls” from Robert Kennedy’s 1968 presidential campaign. This rather horrendous act of treachery and dishonesty will be revealed as it brings about moral questions involving Senator Ted Kennedy, a prospective candidate to run for the Democratic ticket for President in two years.

In addition, Joan Bennett Kennedy was pregnant at the time. We can also see that  Ted Kennedy drove home a certain Miss Mary Jo Kopechne who as the victim of the vehicular incident itself.  All evidence points to Ted Kennedy being the primary suspect in this now potential murder investigation, of which should be seen by the American populace as a heinous and unforgivable offence that could derail Ted Kennedy’s political career and result in jail time.

Upon investigation of the incident itself, a diver by the name of John Farrar recounts that the victim showed more signs of strangulation of which he believed to be the primary reason for her death. The diver is also on the record as saying that had Kennedy made any effort to save the victim’s life, she may still be with us today. In addition to this damning evidence, the diver reported that he himself could have saved Mary Jo within twenty minutes of the incident. However, no effort was made by Senator Ted Kennedy to report the incident to authorities until the following morning.

In addition, there was blood found on the dress of Mary Jo by the funeral director and authorities as well as in her mouth and nose. Regardless of these gruesome details handed to police, they suspiciously opposed any effort to perform an autopsy on the victim, further condemning Ted Kennedy and the power he exercises through his political allies. Not only did the family also receive a rather unctuous payment $90,000 from the Senator himself to the family of the victim without any reason, but no funeral was held and Mary Jo was buried only one day after the incident.

The New York Times would like to call the people to action. Regardless of political beliefs or sentiments to condemn the action, or rather inaction by Ted Kennedy on this issue and raise support for the conviction and proper trial by jury of Senator Ted Kennedy for the murder of Mary Jo Kopechne. In addition, we, the New York Times, call the citizens who support the Democratic Party to not let their party’s administration become a festering swamp of corruption and immorality and act to bring about a new age of the Democratic Party which fights for the morals and rights of Americans and protects tradition and the values held by the American people. The New York Times suggests that if Senator Ted Kennedy has any desire to respect the will of the people and cease any further intentions pertaining to running for the office of President of the United States.

Colson’s Call

BREAKING – For the past few years, the Nixon Administration has been faced with many challenges both foreign and domestic. Our reporters sought out to report on how the White House felt about their so-called “Conservative Coalition”. When pressed on the issue by reporters, Charles Colson stated that the Nixon Administration had gone to great lengths to ensure that the nation was mobilizing to fulfill the campaign promises set forth by Nixon himself and that the White House was avidly pursuing every possible avenue to satisfy both the needs of the domestically-concerned Conservatives as well as the Internationally inclined Conservatives. However, Mr. Colson did state that while there were some inefficiencies with the coalition as a whole, it primarily consisted of growing pains of the Presidential office.

In addition, when pressed by reporters, Colson brought up the topic of race relations. On this issue, Colson vehemently stated that the Black Panthers, a group often publicized for their violent take on racial equality, was nothing more than a group of Black Nationalists. Many have wondered just what the White House will do in light of recent directives which empower states to handle cases of racial discrimination and hatred. Hence, it seems the White House has come on the record as saying that they are in favour of peacefully achieving equality for Americans regardless of skin colour. However, the White House has come out as saying that organizations such as the Black Panthers should resist violence so that the safety of all Americans in this turbulent time can be ensured.

Principle of Pakistan

BREAKING – A senior member of the Nixon Administration hints at potential US support for the emerging Pakistani-Indian crisis. The source explains that the US will side with Pakistani forces in this struggle on for ethical and moral grounds. This recent revelation is still not a confirmation of physical support and in fact the White House vehemently denies any potential military action on behalf of Pakistan. Many view this as in the best interest of all the American people.

Unctuous Affairs

The New York Times recently received information from an anonymous source within the Nixon administration that a key member of the Democratic Party, Mr. Larry O’Brien to be specific, has been exposed of having extramarital affairs with a certain mystery woman. While all the details are not yet known. Our reporters believe as though this sort of behavior is not tolerable at any level, especially at the upper echelons of the American Political structure. The New York Times views the current administration of the Democratic Party to be rife with secrecy and controversy and ask any and all readers to consider such facts when placing blind trust into a party which in recent months have much to be answered in terms of issues at home. Our reporters are hard at work investigating and securing interviews so that these important issues shall be made known to the public.

Tragedy By The Bay

BREAKING – Reports have surfaced of a horrific one vehicle car accident, in which there was one victim who did not walk away. This occurred last night along a road on Chappaquiddick Island in Massachusetts. While all seems not out of the ordinary at first, some investigative journalism carried out by our reporters has found that that the one victim in the accident, of whom is deceased, was potentially a love interest of Ted Kennedy. In addition, the driver of the Oldsmobile on that fateful night was none other than Mr. Kennedy himself.

Regardless of political affiliation, all can agree that the unnatural silence of Mr. Kennedy in regards to this pertinent issue raises some serious red flags when it comes to his character and his morals. Under this current knowledge, our reporters question the stability and honor of such a man, and call into question his actions, or rather inaction, when it comes to the handling of this tragedy. Rest assured, the New York Times will continue to investigate this event and report it to the public with the upmost haste.

Message of Hope

In light of recent events and operations carried out by the Central Intelligence Agency, a reporter representing the New York Times pursued and obtained an interview with the head of said agency, Director Helms. In this interview our correspondent asked among many questions, what exactly would the CIA like to say to the people so that they can be reassured of the mission of the CIA to protect American citizens from all foreign threats and crisis. In response Director Helms stated “We are working in tandem with the [U.S.]government to ensure that Americans are kept safe on a day-to-day basis”. With this, it can be well assumed that regardless of any controversy carried out by individual actors to undermine the authority of the CIA as a government agency, the department is pursuing every possible measure to ensure the safety of our citizens. In addition, the CIA director also stated the common emphasis on protecting and rescuing those who are “struggling against authoritarian regimes”. Such sentiments should echo favorably among the American public and provide a much needed message of hope in such turbulent times.