Who You Gonna Call?

As Committee V opened, Angela Merkel’s Cabinet erupted into chaos. Though they function as one of the most quickly-paced councils in the entire conference, the room was absolutely silent. Members received a press notice that revealed the nation’s lack of funds based on negotiations made around the refugee crisis. Delegates were forced to cut two of three pre-developed initiatives in order to preserve their economic status. It quickly became evident that this decision would not be an easy one.

In the early morning, the Merkel Cabinet was in a combined state of crisis with the Greek Ministerial Council. Ten boats, each serving 400 refugees, were traveling from the Turkish coast towards the Greek islands. As one of the wealthiest and most responsive nations in the European Union, Germany was called in to provide aid to their ally. By 4 am, the countries agreed to each take half of the incoming refugees while 70% of integration efforts would be funded by Germany; the rest would be funded by the Greeks.

As Committee V began, however, this deal abruptly came into question.

German delegates were forced to choose between the German-Greek Refugee deal, eco-farms and other domestic refugee integration programs, or the €120 billion bailout of Spain to fund. The nation’s credit rating had been declassified to A-1, and though this was not as detrimental as the ratings of countries like Greece and Spain, this was in large due to the huge impact of Germany’s humanitarian aid. Peter Altmaier who serves as the Chief of Staff of the German Ministry and as the Federal Minister for Special Affairs fought to preserve domestic programs to integrate the influx of refugees. He argued that Greece’s refugee deal could be solved by NGOs and that the investment in reform would instead be best for the German people.

In the Greek Ministerial Council, delegates worked to pass a directive titled Police Escort, an effort that was largely cited as being based on Germany’s aid. Council members argued that there was a greater need for law enforcement in refugee camps in order to separate the disputes between the various ethnic and cultural groups. While some argued that these forces could be intimidating, most agreed that in order to eradicate the violence in refugee settlements, they had to ensure this measure. The directive was passed almost unanimously. Little did the Greeks know that this very funding was threatened.

In an unexpected turn, however, the Germans agreed to fund their deal with the Greeks. “We wrote a directive aimed at keeping our agreement with Greece, though I personally believe that we should’ve focused on the domestic refugee issues.” Manuela Schwesig, the Federal Minister of Family Affairs, Senior Citizens, Women and Youth, commented. She continued to explain that many cabinet members came to the consensus that domestic issues could be focused on at any time and the relief must be provided immediately. Though this threatened the state of their economy, their integrity, and their relationship with the people, it was done. Greece was saved.

Nonetheless, the crisis did not end there. Shortly after the directive’s pass, Czech President Miloš Zeman stormed into the room with his team of staff. After stirring up quite a scene with fiery screams, table slamming, and translation mishaps, it was revealed that refugees were being pent up in inhuman conditions around the republic, and many were fleeing to Germany in fear. No other E.U. countries were forthcoming, and the Czechs were now looking for German aid.

With five minutes to solve the crisis, the German Cabinet quickly went to work. Some immediately offered room for the displaced. Others argued that the country could not afford to take in any more refugees, particularly in their economic state. Instead these members maintained that surrounding countries should take the population in exchange for their own relief.

Within three minutes, the directive Czech Out was drafted. This motion called for anti-terror units on the borders, protective measures, the classification of crimes against refugees as hate crimes, and negotiations with other E.U. nations for relief of financial obligations in exchange for the acceptance of refugees. The mandate was passed unanimously.

The question for Germany now is where their aid ends. In this session alone, the entire economy of their nation was threatened. If the Cabinet continues to fund their allies and all refugee expenses, they will only continue on this path. It leaves many wondering who would be next to call in the case of Germany’s demise.


A Triad of Trials

Only one of the three members of the Greek Cabinet members was found to be innocent in this triad of trials that just closed. The Secretaries of Finance, Infrastructure, and Interior were tried for a variety of reasons during the past committee session, only the Secretary of Interior  being released from these accusations. Many Secretaries are extremely happy with these results, the Secretary of Culture and Sports saying that “The truth has been spoken.”

When asked what he was charged with, the Secretary of Finance was very quick to respond.

I breached EU Sanctions with my wife via a Shell company to purchase 5000 AK-47s from Russia, which I sold on the open market in Romania to ISIS affiliated Qatari agents. I also sold 50,000 [cubic centimetres] of natural gas in Greece and attempted to sell 5,000 barrels of crude oil in Thessaloniki.

He was found guilty and the Secretary of State then responeded “From now on we aren’t tolerating corruption.” The Secretary of Finance is now jailed and has been replaced by the Secretary of Immigration Policy.

The Secretary of Infrastructure was also charged with a crime in connection to ISIS, however it was not connected to the crimes committed by the Secretary of Finance. When asked to comment on his guilty verdict for financially aiding ISIS, the Secretary responded with:

“I’m very proud of myself … I’m really trying to help the world.”

He is now jailed and has been replaced by Secretary of Media and Communication.

Many members of the Greek Cabinet were outraged by the crimes which brought the necessity of these trials, however they understand the need for the judicial system that is in place. The Secretary of Economy stated “These trials are necessary for all [of the] corruption plaguing the Greek government.” The Secretary of State also wanted to let the Greek people know that from now on, the Greek Cabinet would not be tolerating corruption of any kind and that the Greek people should be aware of the wrongdoing that occurred.


Et tu, Greek Ministerial Council?

Anonymous sources have been able to leak information regarding the untrustworthy dynamic between different members of the Council.

“The Minister of Infrastructure and Transport has made a great backstab to various members of our committee,” stated one of the sources. “He had made several transactions with the purpose of making ministers such as large quantities of money to him, so that as a consequence we have no option but to work for him.”

Sources also stated that the Minister of Infrastructure and Transport was able to place a sum of about 500 million euros in the name of the Minister of the Interior in order to raise suspicion around him, yet the Minister of Interior was quick enough to discover what was happening and divulge the event over to several ministers in the Council that might have possibly been affected.

Furthermore, it has been discovered that the Minister of Infrastructure and Transport has also established connections with the government of both Germany and Russia. Sources state that The Minister of Infrastructure and Transport is conscious about the policy Council members are applying in order to address the current austerity measures in the government, yet this barrier has not been respected.

“Several of us have gathered in order to discuss this shocking turn of events,” stated another of the sources. “We are ready to take action soon. We are definitely not going to let such indignations continue any longer. It is our role to sort out this crisis for the benefit of our country, and not individuals who play for their own interests.”

Can Plautus save the day?

The Greek ministerial cabinet is currently in a state of panic, frenzy, disagreement and doubt. With the banking systems of Greece collapsing under their own weight and in desperate need of a bailout, the Greek cabinet is unsure of how to respond to the needs of it’s people. The crisis has increased unemployment rates in the region, while the threat of cutting down pensions and the banks shutting their doors has sent civilians into a state of constant chaos.

When the cabinet tilted the deliberations to the refugee crisis in Europe, it was met with thunderous riots and wide scale protests with the people of the nation questioning the priorities of its own government. Smothered by allegations of corruption and answerable to it’s people, the government needs to solve the crisis before it gets out of hand. In order to boost the morale of the it’s people, Greece hopes to perform well in the 2016 Olympics and decided to set up more training camps for athletes, which could prove to be a questionable move in the time of a financial crisis. In a time that people may be at the risk of losing their only source of livelihood, The minister on sports and culture argues that this would help increase employment by providing opportunities for sports coaches. However, the question that still remains is, whether the fiscal deficit would break even or plummet the government into more debt?

As a response to this problem, the committee deliberated upon an important directive to reduce the pensions given to the people by 2% each year until 2022 in order to increase the savings. This directive proved to be an extremely controversial one, “We must consider the public sentiment and also realize that reducing pensions at such a sensitive point of time could send the public into a frenzy and cause more chaos than already present” stated the minister of foreign affairs. To this, the Minister of infrastructure argued,” We need to ensure savings and funds. It is important to take action and bring in more money in order to protect the people and the government”, this statement was also backed by the minister or labor.

When the committee did finally reach a compromise and pass a directive regarding the pension policy, it was greeted with a backlash by the European Union which was not happy with their decision. While certain members of the cabinet, such as the Minister of economy, were willing to make minor changes and other budget cuts instead of cutting down on pensions in order to prevent retaliation from Brussels, not everyone was on board with this opinion. “We have been constantly bullied by the European Union, who have stolen our sovereignty and freedom,  and we must not give in just because it [the pension policy] does not please them, this statement was also backed by the Minister of foreign affairs who agreed that it was important to not give in to the European union and show strength to it’s people and regain their trust.

With the GDP being decreased to over 27% and hitting a new low, unemployment rates skyrocketing, unhappy people rejecting their own government and the economy on the brink of collapsing; it is now up to the ministerial cabinet to contain this chaos in an effective and immediate manner.


Welcome to HMUN 2017!

The Press Corps Staff welcomes you to HMUN 2017.