China selling drugs to North Vietnamese

Recent information has revealed that China is selling drugs to the North Vietnamese.  Murray Choitner, Special Counsel to the President, released the following statement regarding this news.

“President Nixon not only saved our American friends, brothers and fathers yesterday.  Recent revelations on the North Vietnamese Army’s backward values attest to the fact that he took a stand against an ideology not only corrupt and Godless, but also evidently in a dire situation in terms of morale,” Choitner said.

More will follow as this story develops.


Kissinger’s Crusade

After the election of President Nixon to his second Presidential term, many questions have been asked whether or not the cabinet will remain divided or unite for the betterment and the welfare of the American people. After a recent statement by Henry Kissinger however, this debate has only become more heated.

While addressing his fellow cabinet members, he made a pitch to address the growing concerns of liberal pundits and citizens, regarding both the continuation of the deliverance of civil rights expansion as well as the growing crusade by many organizations to achieve greater equality across the board. In addition we were informed that the cabinet was discussing perhaps stepping back on recent promises to expand military operations and shift to a more volunteer-based system in regards to the physical makeup of the military, a reversal of the current draft system dealing with the conflict in Vietnam. This news is very agreeable to all Americans as it would ensure that American lives will not be wasted fighting for some political cause that much of the nation views as misplaced and mishandled.

While the majority of the cabinet, including the White House Communications Director Mr. Herbert Klein, supported recent shifts in the policy of the Nixon administration to address growing concerns by all Americans both domestically and abroad, there were also voices of dissension such as Mr. Henry Kissinger who stated that the cabinet and Administration “cannot liberalize ourselves to appeal to their voter base”. This being in reference to the recent changes to the Administration’s shift in policy. Any further information regarding this issue will be released with most haste.

Nixon’s Cabinet denies Leaks

In response to allegations of wiretapping several members of President Nixon’s cabinet have issued a statement denying these accusations.Director of the FBI, J. Edgar Hoover, vehemently denied the existence of such leaks within the cabinet.

“The FBI does not have knowledge of or approve of wiretapping within the cabinet. If there were to be wiretapping it would be done by the Democratic party or opponents of Nixon’s campaign in an attempt to smear him or degrade our cabinet and party,” Hoover said.

His statement of denial was echoed by National Security Advisor Henry Kissinger.

“I know nothing of any wiretapping, as far as I am aware all cabinet officials trust each other to the best of their ability,” Kissinger said.

Attorney General John Mitchell however, did not deny the leaks, but instead assured the public of the administration’s commitment to investigating the alleged leaks.

“The administration in general wants to set up a group of people in order to deal with the source of the leaks and their effects.  We want to guarantee that the public knows only the truth and nothing but the truth,” Mitchell said.

Despite the allegations against his cabinet, President Nixon won his bid for re-election in  celebratory style. After the news of his victory was confirmed, Nixon appeared before supporters who where loudly chanting USA and waving banners with his campaign slogans.  The President kept his remarks succinct, simply stating ” I am so honored and humbled” and that he wants to continue “making America great again.”



Nixon’s Night

On this very night, the Nixon Administration celebrated perhaps its best evening. With the 1972 having been incredibly heated and intense from all sides on the issues of race, poverty, conflict and American values. After a seemingly divided campaign it appears as though the Nixon Administration will be in power for four more years.

After an incredibly tense election cycle in which the Nixon cabinet seemed very much so divided on strategy, a series of campaign videos were released along the way which seemingly united all Americans behind a set of values the cabinet viewed fit for the American public to demonstrate. Within the halls of the White House, Nixon’s cabinet scrambled in order to produce quality campaign advertisements with incredible pace. With time seemingly speeding up around these turbulent times, the cabinet was able to keep a cool head and produce campaign videos which many voters seemed quite pleased with. One reporter was even told by a voter that those advertisements were the deciding factor in his ballot decision.

With the ads themselves focusing on topics such as the how to rebuild a fractured nation and how to make America a nation built upon values again. The cabinet also orchestrated part of their efforts to reaching out to the true struggling voter bloc in this election, the liberal voters of whom have fought both on the streets and in the halls of the Supreme Court to have their plight heard, of which include both the African American voters and the Female voters of whom have seemingly been forgotten throughout these past tumultuous months. The cabinet went to great lengths to highlight Nixon’s creation of the EPA and other organizations which placed the will of the American people above petty politics. However, what the cabinet failed to mention, and something we will gladly mention is that thanks to the work and dedication of true liberals in Congress to keep our environment safe and secure for generations to come. We would like to commend Nixon though, on such an esteemed executive order.


With Nixon taking the stage to address his supporters on the evening of his win. The gentleman seemed quite resolute and composed. However, as soon as Mr. Nixon took to the stage, a whole new persona emerged as he began to thank the American people for their continued support. We must add though, this Nixon coming up to address the people of America was not quite as reserved and careful as he typically has been, with his calls for the crowd to stand up again and keep cheering after he had already dismissed them to their seats. However, all was left out on stage tonight as Nixon himself stated that he was so proud to be “elected for four more years to God’s greatest gift to this planet”. To this exclamation by President Nixon, the crowd became absolutely enamored with the man whom they had put into power.

However, all was not wholly innocent or celebratory as the President decided to call out illegitimate actions by the leadership of the Democratic Party in places such as Chicago where “those illegal votes” as Nixon put it, seemingly were tools by the establishment to ensure that their policy, not those drafted and admired by the public, were put into place. The President was quick to silence any dissension in his speech and spoke about unity saying that now

“We can continue making America great again!”

The President ended his celebration with a familiar sign towards the American public, the Peace sign. As he left the stage, he shook the hands and accepted congratulations from both his staffers and the members of his cabinet who are no doubt excited to be back to business as usual now that the electoral tides have seemingly settled down.

Rumors of Firings in Nixon’s Cabinet

Rumours have been circulating that President Nixon is preparing to fire several members of his cabinet.  A cabinet meeting has been called for tomorrow morning and many believe that several members will be booted from their positions.  Those expected to be fired are The Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, George Romney, Director of the FBI,  J. Edgar Hoover and White House Council, Charles Colson. According to a senior White House official these members are currently under investigation for their involvement in the leaking of information to the press.

Information Leaked from Nixon’s Cabinet by Opponent

The special Council to the President and the White House Chief of Staff have come forth with unequivocal proof that President Nixon’s opponent, Democrat George Wallace, leaked information to dirty the reputation of Nixon’s cabinet.

Special Council to the President, Murray Choitner, has received evidence that it was Wallace who had leaked information to the media that Nixon’s cabinet had ties to Communism.  He went on to say that it is actually George McGovern, Nixon’s other opponent, who has ties to the Prime Minister of the Soviet Union, Alexei Kosygin .

Choitner’s evidence was substantiated by White House Chief of Staff, H.R. Haldeman, to confirm its authenticity.

Protests at President Nixon’s Cabinet


Political instability continues to shake the members of the President Nixon’s Cabinet. This time, several protestors were able to get past security in The White House in order to call out for justice upon the poor handling of government in regards to the bombing of the United States Embassy in Baghdad.


The bombing of Baghdad resulted in the killing of 50 Americans and the disappearance of 13 other fellow patriots. The impact of the attack was highly dangerous for the already wavering state of public opinion regarding the draft and war campaigns of the government, as no official word of The White House has been made yet and the President Richard Nixon has left the public without a single public statement.


Members of the Administration will continue to expect high levels of public disturbances due to the fact that economic decline and growth of unemployment rates persist in the nation.


A Bridge Too Far?

BREAKING – In continuance of our piece, “Tragedy By The Bay”, we promised you, the readers, that we would continue to pursue every possible avenue to uncover the suspicious nature of the Chappaquiddick Incident. Through further investigation, and with the cooperation of an anonymous high-ranking official within the Nixon Administration, we have uncovered condemning evidence of Senator Ted Kennedy and his actions in regard to the Incident.

Directly from the start, it can be confirmed that Senator Ted Kennedy, along with Joseph Gargan, Paul Markham (Former US Attorney), Charles Tretter, Raymond La Rosa, as well as John Crimins (who was Kennedy’s part time driver) were all involved. These married individuals were in the company of six single women of whom were “Boiler Girls” from Robert Kennedy’s 1968 presidential campaign. This rather horrendous act of treachery and dishonesty will be revealed as it brings about moral questions involving Senator Ted Kennedy, a prospective candidate to run for the Democratic ticket for President in two years.

In addition, Joan Bennett Kennedy was pregnant at the time. We can also see that  Ted Kennedy drove home a certain Miss Mary Jo Kopechne who as the victim of the vehicular incident itself.  All evidence points to Ted Kennedy being the primary suspect in this now potential murder investigation, of which should be seen by the American populace as a heinous and unforgivable offence that could derail Ted Kennedy’s political career and result in jail time.

Upon investigation of the incident itself, a diver by the name of John Farrar recounts that the victim showed more signs of strangulation of which he believed to be the primary reason for her death. The diver is also on the record as saying that had Kennedy made any effort to save the victim’s life, she may still be with us today. In addition to this damning evidence, the diver reported that he himself could have saved Mary Jo within twenty minutes of the incident. However, no effort was made by Senator Ted Kennedy to report the incident to authorities until the following morning.

In addition, there was blood found on the dress of Mary Jo by the funeral director and authorities as well as in her mouth and nose. Regardless of these gruesome details handed to police, they suspiciously opposed any effort to perform an autopsy on the victim, further condemning Ted Kennedy and the power he exercises through his political allies. Not only did the family also receive a rather unctuous payment $90,000 from the Senator himself to the family of the victim without any reason, but no funeral was held and Mary Jo was buried only one day after the incident.

The New York Times would like to call the people to action. Regardless of political beliefs or sentiments to condemn the action, or rather inaction by Ted Kennedy on this issue and raise support for the conviction and proper trial by jury of Senator Ted Kennedy for the murder of Mary Jo Kopechne. In addition, we, the New York Times, call the citizens who support the Democratic Party to not let their party’s administration become a festering swamp of corruption and immorality and act to bring about a new age of the Democratic Party which fights for the morals and rights of Americans and protects tradition and the values held by the American people. The New York Times suggests that if Senator Ted Kennedy has any desire to respect the will of the people and cease any further intentions pertaining to running for the office of President of the United States.

Vietnam War going smoothly

The U.S.’s involvement in the Vietnam War has resulted in the spread of Democracy and the repealing of the spread of Communism.  By getting involved  in the war, the U.S. took a stance and showed the world that it is indeed a force to be reckoned with. Currently in Vietnam, our soldiers are working alongside the Vietnamese people in training them to fight against communist forces.  Besides training the locals to defend themselves, the US is also working to help restructure the government of Vietnam by establishing a democratic government.  Plans are in the works for a safe and easy withdrawal of U.S. forces in the coming months.  They will return home hero’s, having managed  to preserve Vietnam from the spread of Communism.

Colson’s Call

BREAKING – For the past few years, the Nixon Administration has been faced with many challenges both foreign and domestic. Our reporters sought out to report on how the White House felt about their so-called “Conservative Coalition”. When pressed on the issue by reporters, Charles Colson stated that the Nixon Administration had gone to great lengths to ensure that the nation was mobilizing to fulfill the campaign promises set forth by Nixon himself and that the White House was avidly pursuing every possible avenue to satisfy both the needs of the domestically-concerned Conservatives as well as the Internationally inclined Conservatives. However, Mr. Colson did state that while there were some inefficiencies with the coalition as a whole, it primarily consisted of growing pains of the Presidential office.

In addition, when pressed by reporters, Colson brought up the topic of race relations. On this issue, Colson vehemently stated that the Black Panthers, a group often publicized for their violent take on racial equality, was nothing more than a group of Black Nationalists. Many have wondered just what the White House will do in light of recent directives which empower states to handle cases of racial discrimination and hatred. Hence, it seems the White House has come on the record as saying that they are in favour of peacefully achieving equality for Americans regardless of skin colour. However, the White House has come out as saying that organizations such as the Black Panthers should resist violence so that the safety of all Americans in this turbulent time can be ensured.